"Counting It All Joy"

2. “God—Joy; in the Same Sentence?”

Psalm 5:1-12

First Presbyterian Church

The Reverend Donald Ray

Sunday, July 1, 2007

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I did something scary about a month ago. I went up to our attic.

Yes, there’s more stuff in our attic than there ought to be.  But, it’s an attic and I seem to get up there rather often so I’m kind of used to that. The ghosts in our attic are what made this particular trip scary.  My purpose for going up was to search them out and face them.  By ghosts I don’t mean apparitions of people who once lived through some haunting tragedy in the house who now move stuff around and make things go bump in the night—though sometimes I think we may have a few of those, too.

The ghosts I went to confront are very real. They are in spiral bound notebooks I used to journal some 20 years ago.  It was at that painful time when my marriage and family broke apart.  On those pages are the record of my daily and mostly late night thoughts and feelings.

I went looking for the ghosts because our summer focus on joy makes this is a good time to exorcise them, but more importantly, because I knew in those journals are also some kinder, gentler spirits responsible for the shaping of my life as I lived through those days.

Sometime during that era of my life, I read of a meditation practice used by Paul Tournier.  Tournier, a general practitioner in Geneva developed what he called the “medicine of the person” combining medical knowledge, understanding, and religion.  One of his own devotional practices was to sit quietly, a pad and pencil in hand, with his mantra being, “What questions do you have for me, God?”  When usually in about 20 minutes a question came into his mind, he would write it on the pad.

In the state of my life at the time, when I had a ton of questions for God, I began using this as part of my own efforts at meditation.  On one of those respites in my journal notebook I wrote; “Do you believe I want joy for you?” as God’s question for me.

The question jolted me to attention and I realized my answer was, “No.”  I did not believe that.  I love the Christmas Carol, “Joy to the World” but I’m not sure I had ever spoken “God” and “Joy” in the same sentence.  In fact, the word “joy” did not hold a significant place in my vocabulary.

I have long realized that my father never recovered emotionally from the Depression.  A home demonstration salesman for high-end cookware, when the market for his product tanked, he lost everything including his sense of security.  He became a self-sufficient farmer so his family would never go hungry.  His philosophy of life was based on having the bare necessities.  His sense of God was as a distant being who afforded minimal help with survival, helping those who helped themselves.

Looking at what I had written on the pad from my meditation, I realized how my sense of God had been conditioned by my father’s, among other things, and how much my life had been shaped by the negative answer to the question before me, “Did I believe God wanted joy for me?”

Definitions of happiness and joy follow a circuitous route using the words interchangeably.  The distinction I think is that happiness is gladness over the things, experiences, relationships that bring us pleasure.  The pursuit of happiness is largely the pursuit of those things, experiences, relationships.

Joy is better understood as the source of that which causes delight and that really is within us; it is within us when we live in the fullness of life.  It is that within which equips us in belief and perspective to be found by and to find joy in life.

I don’t want to say much about last week’s youth mission trip to reserve that for worship on July 15.  But one of the experiences Andrea arranged for us on the “Mirror of Humanity” mission was a visit to the AIR Gallery.  A.I.R. is an acronym for Artists In Recovery.  One of the current artists is Kim Spence-Keffer whose photographs of old houses she described as like seeing and considering her changing mental condition affected by her mental illness.

One of the photos was of a window in an old house, its frame scarred, stained and faded, the glass smudged.  The camera focus is on the window frame with the view of the evidently beautiful landscape outside blurred in background.  Titled, “Darkness Within,” the photo graphically illustrates how we can drown in despair if we see only our own present condition and fail to view the largeness of life.

The song by Tom Waits, “House Where Nobody Lives” plays in her head as she sights her camera on the old, abandoned houses, writes Kim.

“There’s a house on my block

     that’s abandoned and cold

 Once it held laughter

      Once it held dreams

 Did they throw it away

   Did they know what it means.

 Did someone’s heart break

           Or did someone do somebody wrong

  What makes a house grand

     Ain’t the roof or the doors

  If there’s love in a house

     It’s a palace for sure

  Without love…

      It ain’t nothing but a house

  A house where nobody lives

     Without love it ain’t nothing

  But a house, a house where

     Nobody lives.

 

Spence-Keffer writes in her artist’s statement, “Thinking of myself as ill only invites more illness.  The psychiatric community has labeled me everything from severely depressed, to manic depressive, paranoid schizophrenic, suffering from PTSD and bipolar.  I accept none of these labels. I am an artist – period.  I have an artist-temperament.  Some would call that crazy.  I call it a creative mind.  And I think we all have one; that we all have issues to overcome, we are all artists in recovery; innocent souls in a healing journey, in search of love. That’s life.”

The premier photograph in the show is titled “Love in a House.”  Before their aged house stands an elderly couple, laughing heartily.  The photo exudes love and joy.  The couple is the artist’s grandparents.  “I grew up next door to them and they were always a source of light and love for me, in the midst of what was often a painful, scary childhood.”

We all do have our issues, circumstances in life we must deal with, sometimes overcome or be overwhelmed by them.  They may be tragedies, disappointments, needs.  They may be good times, fulfilled wishes, abundance.  But if we allow the stuff of life to distort our view of God, of love, of life we can miss the joy that is our God blessed destiny.

The Psalm we read this morning can easily fall into that “God on our side against the enemies out there” mode.  But I think it can be also understood as God dispelling the enemies within.  The blessing of the righteousness may not be so much with prosperity and safety but with love and peace and joy.

Kierkergaard realized that catastrophe can be a means of grace.  It can be an instrument used by God by which we cease floating passively on all manner of external attractions.  It is by the grace of catastrophe that people sometimes come to themselves and see what is before them as if for the first time.

What we believe God wants for us; what we envision life is meant to be does shape our life.  If we see distant and disinterested, stern and punishing, a last resort in desperation, then we miss the flickers of light in the dark times, the bits of humor in the tense moments, the sparks of hope in the midst of despair, the fun in the everyday drudgery.  God is the source of all those good things.  God is the joy in believing.

Three weeks ago, I was in the Adirondack mountains of northeastern New York .  There, without the distraction of urban light pollution, we looked up one night and saw stars.  I had forgotten there were so many.  It’s a parable of life.  When we are still and know God, we can get the message.  Jesus said, “Everything I have said to you is so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.

Do you believe God wants joy for you?

 

© Copyright 2007 First Presbyterian Church

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